Women and Work

Still Frazzled After All These Years?

By Kelly Burgess

Twenty-five years ago, when the magazine Working Mother debuted, the name was odd enough to be big news. In fact, deputy editor Jolie Solomon recalls early articles in the magazine focusing on such topics as getting permission from your husband to work outside the home by promising to keep up the house as well.

Now we expect more from our husbands, but there's no doubt that women still do a great deal of juggling family issues with work. A recent U.S. Labor Department survey showed that in 2003 employed women averaged about an hour more per day on housework and 2.7 hours more per day on child care than did employed men.

Seven years ago when Mary Lyon published her book The Frazzled Working Woman's Practical Guide to Motherhood (Starburst Publishers, 1997), there weren't a lot of resources for women who were trying to juggle work and family issues. Although there have been many other books written and Web sites created since her book came out, she doesn't think the subject of juggling work and family will ever get stale.

"It's the way people are wired," says Lyon. "You may see it going on around you, but until you're there yourself it doesn't really click. Every year there's a whole new crop of women who are discovering that working mothers have unique problems. I see this as our cross to bear. With more women in positions of authority and influence it has gotten easier, but I don't think these issues will ever go away."

The reason these issues won't ever go away is because there doesn't really seem to be a solution. As Lyon points out, when her children were small she had to deal with finding care for them when she went out on assignments. Now, at ages 12 and 14 they can care for themselves, but they need rides to various after-school activities. As an artist and writer, she has a flexible schedule. At other times, she calls in favors from other mothers.

Many moms don't have that flexibility and can make themselves crazy trying to work an 8-to-5 job while keeping the household running reasonably smoothly, making sure their children have rides to their various activities, the family eats as healthfully as possible and they still have some downtime to spend with their kids. And that doesn't count emergencies, such as sick children.

While Solomon says these issues are beginning to impact fathers as well, and there's no doubt that more fathers are helping to pick up the slack in the home, she also notes that men simply don't feel the pressure the way women do.

"I remember when I first started hearing men around the office discuss babysitting-related concerns I thought to myself: This is a moment to remember," says Solomon. "The fact is that women do shoulder a big part of the responsibility for juggling, and we still have a long way to go in that area. Women still feel as if they're on the defensive and have to do everything. We talk about how eager we are for working moms to banish guilt, but it's just not that easy."

Want to see more?

• The Career Challenge: How Moms Balance Work, Family and External Pressure
• CEO of Everything: Balancing Career and Family
• Moms At Work: Is Returning to Work Right for You?
• Talk about it!